You may be Light but I am Heavy

It's quite shocking to see the progress I've personally made over the years. Measured time and time again, I find myself in a more easily defensible position now more than ever. Even with all the setbacks and all the problems and all the confusion, this is still highly more valuable than my previous academic venture.

But I rather wanted to speak of something else. I've always wondered about people that want to know their own purpose in life - their true meaning, who they are, what are they here. Which is not to say that these thoughts do not pass me in brief, fleeting moments (such as other thoughts like "I wonder how bad my results are now that they're out?" and "Do I really want to get up and go make myself a sandwich?"), but I just find it weird that people can spend the rest of their lives devoting themselves to this question.

I am not saying it is a useless venture. Rather, it is just one that eludes my interest at the moment. But what is interesting is that some people have achieved their goal! Or so they say. Those that know what they are here for, those enlightened, those blessed enough to know these answers to intangibles which elude most of us. Their behaviour, in particular, has struck me as somewhat interesting. I myself have met some who really believed in them throughout my years, most of whom are my peers, oddly enough (and I am hardly one who has experienced a lot within my current life).

I don't know if my unenlightened status mars my eyes from seeing further, but those enlightened either seem to be pretentious pricks or patronizing pastors of preferably persistent positives. And by that, I mean either they think highly of themselves for being enlightened, or try to forcibly convert you in order to hopefully have an euphoric revelation of some sort within seconds of talking to them.

Both of these annoy me to no end. For one, I really don't think being enlightened means you should have a cock up your ass. For another, I also don't think that you shouldn't be trying to shove your big, holy phallic symbol of inner peace and tranquility up mine.

But if you wanna talk about other things, be my guest.